Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Venture of Marriage

Meilaender, Gilbert.  "The Venture of Marriage"   A Reader in Pastoral Theology. Fort Wayne: Concordia Theological Seminary Press, 2002.  124-129.

I guess this post is about a week late.  At least, it's late in terms of my thoughts and plans, since the wedding is over.  Then again, the young married couple is out there on their big adventure.  Maybe they will see what a big adventure it is.

Meilaender points to marriage being, as Luther says, "the first of all institutions" (Large Catechism 1).  Yet this institution of God, intended to be as permanent as the earthly life of the participants, is in a strikingly impermanent world.  In a world of quick and short relationships, a world where we can have three thousand best friends on Facebook, a world where today's wonderful innovation is not worth anything at next year's yard sale, the idea of a permanent relationship between husband and wife is a little out of place.  But it is what our Lord has ordained.

The faithfulness of marriage goes beyond the sexual relationship.  It extends to bearing and raising children, not exactly an instantaneous process.  In marriage we see people who are in need, vulnerable, helping one another, standing with one another, no matter what.  This faithfulness and trust is something we simply don't see very often outside of Christian marriage.    The faithfulness and trust in marriage is not something which comes naturally to us, either.  It brings us face to face with our sin.  We are not faithful and trusting as we should be.  This lack of faithfulness, love, and trust in marriage to someone we can see serves to show our lack of faithfulness, love, and trust in our relationship with the God we cannot see.  It draws us to repentance.

Marriage, in fact, is something that is good for us.  It makes people better.  It teaches us how to love, trust, and be faithful.  It teaches us about our need for repentance and forgiveness.  It makes us a part of a team.  Though it is not a sacrament, it certainly works as a tool of God in our sanctification.  

Meilaender observes the historic Christian view that marriage is permanent, as long as both partners are alive.  Despite our tendency to stray, despite our fleeting fancy that binds us to someone else "as long as we both shall feel like it" those who have entered into marriage have entered into a lifelong covenant.  It should be protected as a lifelong covenant.  Divorce has historically been very difficult.  Those factors which lead to the breakdown of a marriage are serious and require repentance and forgiveness.  If husband and wife both realize they are making a lifelong covenant, and if their leaders in Christ confess that the Lord is in the business of forgiveness and reconciliation, there is no reason why married couples should divorce.  Their struggles, though often serious, can be worked through in a way which brings honor to God.

Living as a married person is a delight.  You can have lots of exciting experiences together.  You have an opportunity to live out your Christian life in the presence of and for the benefit of someone else day after day for the rest of your life.  Best of all, you have an opportunity to live a life which paints a picture of Christ and His Church.

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