Sande, Ken & Kevin Johnson Resolving Everyday Conflict. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2011.
Chapter 2 “The Hope of the Gospel: Life-Changing Power that Can Heal Your Relationships”
Trying to obey the Bible’s commands to love one another seems impossible. We read passages like John 13:35, John 17:23, and John 17:21 and we realize that we do not have the kind of impact on our world that Jesus is talking about. In fact, we are often trying to love one another in our own power, not in Jesus’ power. We follow our world’s patterns and end up being seen by the broader community as people who aren’t so different from anyone else. But Jesus lays out something distinctive for us.
Lutherans have classified this for generations as a right distinction between Law and Gospel. As Sande and Johnson put it, we do actually know what is right. But we don’t have the power to do it. Jesus gives us commands. Yet while we can understand them we are not able to follow them. Our following the Law of God will never save us (Romans 8:3) and even if our current obedience to God’s Law could wipe out past sins we aren’t going to be able to keep the Law well enough. We are commanded by God to live at peace. And we can’t do it.
Enter the Gospel, what God has done for us, as opposed to what we do for God. The Gospel tells us that Jesus is the one who has made peace with us. He is the one who has wiped away the alienation that existed between man and God (Colossians 1:21-22). It is very simple, though it is not something we could do. John 3:16 points out that God loved us by having Jesus perish on our behalf so we could believe and live in him. We confess that we cannot earn God’s approval (Romans 3:20, Ephesians 2:8-9), that Jesus paid for our sins (Isaiah 53:1-12, 1 Peter 2:24-25), and that Jesus gives us his perfect righteousness. As we live in that Gospel we end up living as people who have been transformed by Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17, 2 Corinthians 5:15).
Of course, despite being changed by the Gospel we don’t live consistently as Christ’s chosen people. We would find this life much easier if we did. The good news is that we continue to repent and believe and our Savior continues to cleanse us from sin. Living as a Christian is an ongoing activity (Colossians 3:12-15) in which we strive to put on the character of our Lord. We pray for one another as Paul prayed for his disciples in Ephesians 3:16-19 that we may see and know the power of Christ dwelling in our hearts. Then we repent, pray to believe, and ask the Lord to use us as his instruments, loving our enemies (1 John 3:16, Luke 6:27-28), resolving conflicts (Romans 5:8, Matthew 5:23-24, Matthew 18:15), confessing our faults (1 John 1:8-9), and seeking to be witnesses of God’s mercy (2 Corinthians 5:15-21).
The great good news is that the Gospel changes us, even in this world.
Discussion Questions:
1) In what area of my life to I see right now that I need the Gospel?
2) Are our attempts to keep God’s Law necessarily bad? Why or why not?
3) How would the Lord work through me to care for others?
4) Is there someone I can work with to memorize and discuss the Scriptures in this chapter?
Showing posts with label Sande and Johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sande and Johnson. Show all posts
Monday, June 4, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
The Nature of Conflict
Sande, Ken & Kevin Johnson Resolving Everyday Conflict. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2011.
Chapter 1 “The Nature of Conflict: What it is and where it comes from”
Our lives are full of conflict. Sande and Johnson ask if we understand what that conflict is and where it comes from. Understanding our situation adequately gives us the tools we need to break down conflict and resolve it well. Our culture tells us that when in conflict we should look out for our own interests. The Bible tells us exactly the opposite. Look out for the interests of the other party in the conflict. This is an application of the Gospel in our situation, seeing that our Lord and Savior considered our sin as more important than himself and gave himself on our account. James 4:1-2 observes that our conflicts come from our self-centered desires. When our self-centered desires come up against someone else’s self-centered desires we have a conflict that needs to be resolved.
An interesting observation in this chapter pertains to church congregations. Sande and Johnson have often asked churches if they have conflict and been advised that the church isn’t in conflict. They then follow up with questions about gossip, backbiting, slander, and find out that there are quiet conflicts throughout the body. These need to be dealt with in order to avoid the conflict situations to grow.
What happens when we resolve conflict well? In Acts 6 the believers had a conflict about distribution of food to the poor. They reached a good solution and it improved their testimony in the community. When we are able to deal with our disagreements in a biblical manner our community sees and notices.
One point of this chapter, one which I don’t think Sande and Johnson dwell on adequately, is the difference between biblical conflict resolution and what secular conflict resolution methods tell you. Our world suggests that conflicts can be talked through and once both sides are understood the conflict will be resolved, though neither person may be pleased with the outcome. A biblical view of conflict resolution goes beyond understanding the other party’s position. It reaches to the level of each party to the conflict understanding his own selfish desires and deciding to do what is in the best interests of the other and whatever might be the best overall solution. This results in an outcome which is pleasing to all parties and which tends to prevent further conflicts. It is far different and far better.
We recall again that a truly biblical view of conflict resolution is a good testimony to our surrounding culture. Compare John 13:35 and John 17:23. As we strive for peace according to Romans 12:18 and Ephesians 4:3 we find that we no longer have to suffer with guilt for relationships which have been damaged.
This book lends itself to a good small group study format. How about some questions?
1) Are you currently involved in conflicts that you would like to resolve? Don’t tell about them, but make some notes for yourself to review later.
2) How do you tend to make conflict worse? How would it be possible to defuse a conflict situation wisely and gently?
3) What do you think of people who are in conflicts? What do you think of people who are at peace?
4) What benefits would you enjoy when living at peace with others?
Chapter 1 “The Nature of Conflict: What it is and where it comes from”
Our lives are full of conflict. Sande and Johnson ask if we understand what that conflict is and where it comes from. Understanding our situation adequately gives us the tools we need to break down conflict and resolve it well. Our culture tells us that when in conflict we should look out for our own interests. The Bible tells us exactly the opposite. Look out for the interests of the other party in the conflict. This is an application of the Gospel in our situation, seeing that our Lord and Savior considered our sin as more important than himself and gave himself on our account. James 4:1-2 observes that our conflicts come from our self-centered desires. When our self-centered desires come up against someone else’s self-centered desires we have a conflict that needs to be resolved.
An interesting observation in this chapter pertains to church congregations. Sande and Johnson have often asked churches if they have conflict and been advised that the church isn’t in conflict. They then follow up with questions about gossip, backbiting, slander, and find out that there are quiet conflicts throughout the body. These need to be dealt with in order to avoid the conflict situations to grow.
What happens when we resolve conflict well? In Acts 6 the believers had a conflict about distribution of food to the poor. They reached a good solution and it improved their testimony in the community. When we are able to deal with our disagreements in a biblical manner our community sees and notices.
One point of this chapter, one which I don’t think Sande and Johnson dwell on adequately, is the difference between biblical conflict resolution and what secular conflict resolution methods tell you. Our world suggests that conflicts can be talked through and once both sides are understood the conflict will be resolved, though neither person may be pleased with the outcome. A biblical view of conflict resolution goes beyond understanding the other party’s position. It reaches to the level of each party to the conflict understanding his own selfish desires and deciding to do what is in the best interests of the other and whatever might be the best overall solution. This results in an outcome which is pleasing to all parties and which tends to prevent further conflicts. It is far different and far better.
We recall again that a truly biblical view of conflict resolution is a good testimony to our surrounding culture. Compare John 13:35 and John 17:23. As we strive for peace according to Romans 12:18 and Ephesians 4:3 we find that we no longer have to suffer with guilt for relationships which have been damaged.
This book lends itself to a good small group study format. How about some questions?
1) Are you currently involved in conflicts that you would like to resolve? Don’t tell about them, but make some notes for yourself to review later.
2) How do you tend to make conflict worse? How would it be possible to defuse a conflict situation wisely and gently?
3) What do you think of people who are in conflicts? What do you think of people who are at peace?
4) What benefits would you enjoy when living at peace with others?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)